When you are famous, it’s important to show that you can be classy in situations where this is required. However, one of the problems we have come across in this country is that they’re not making Champagne! And to us, class with no Champagne is like a class with no students. It just aint gonna work.
They have been making wine for five thousand years in this country. As a matter of fact, this is where the Phoenicians started exporting wine for the first time in history. This is also where the Romans put their Bacchus temple to worship the God of wine, and this is where Jesus made wine from water. The soil of the majestic Bekaa valley seems to be perfect to produce wine grapes.
Then war came, and the farmers figured out that hashsish and opium would bring them way more cash. At the end of the war, large parts of the wine tradition was forgotten. Now, Lebanon is getting back on track, and 30 producers are filling about seven million bottles every year – none with bubbles.
So we went to have a little talk with our wine producing friends to see what they could do for us. Gaston Hochar, our homie over at Chateu Musar, pulled the plug out of a bottle from 1977 in our honour. A beautiful wine with a slightly rotten smell the first minute, before the richness of the organic magic settled, and the wine completed itself in a near perfect harmony. When we suggested to pimp it up with some bubbles from a Sodastream soda machine, we were kindly asked to leave the premises. Musar will probably never make Champagne.
So we made our way over to Jean-Paul, our buddy over at Chateau Khoury. It’s always sweet to hang out with JP. We get our very own castle to play around with whenever we go and see him, and he makes beautiful wine that puts you in the mood of love making. But it’s a tiny house, and he has no capacity to experiment with bubbles. So we had to accept the red wine he was offering, which was alright.
The crib JP gives us when we come visiting
Over at Chateu Ksara we got to sip some millennium edition stuff. We drank red wine, yellow wine, white wine and pink wine. We drank old wine and new wine. But we didn’t see any bubbles. And since this is by far the biggest wine producer in Lebanon, we demanded to have a meeting with James Plagé, the man that has been engineering the taste of Ksara for the past decade. And yes, they do have sparkling wine! They don’t have it in the shops though, and the assholes over at the Chateu wouldn’t let us taste any of them precious drops. “It’s for staff only”. Fuck that! We’re getting a Sodastream “do it yourself” soda machine. It’s not cheating. It’s more like the instant coffee of the champagne world.